i hate food

I’m just a normal boy that sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I’d rather swim ashore
Without a life vest I’d be stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like “fourteen miles away”
Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I’m sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just ran out
I’m cold as cold as cold can be
Be
I want to swim away but don’t know how
Sometimes it feels just like I’m falling in the ocean
Let the waves up, take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down
Where is the coastguard?
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, gimme something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam, junk will do just fine
The jetsam junk, I’m left behind
I’m treading for my life, believe me
How can I keep up this breathing?
Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I’m reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop this ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed and floated into space
Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow, yeah
Just to prove that I knew how, yeah
It’s midnight’s late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
Set front row in my need to fall
Into the ocean, end it all

Everything Will Change.

I’ll be the grapes fermented, bottled and served with the table set, in my finest suit like a perfect gentleman.
I’ll be the fire escape that’s bolted to the ancient brick, where you will sit and contemplate your day.
I’ll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning in an open tab, when your judgement’s on the brink.
I’ll be the phonograph that plays your favourite albums back, as you’re lying there drifting off to sleep.
I’ll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity’s done to you.
You won’t have to strain to look into my eyes.
I’ll be your winter coat, buttoned and zipped straight to the throat, with the collar up, so you won’t catch a cold.
I want to take you far from the cynics in this town, and kiss you on the mouth. We’ll cut our bodies free from the tethers of this scene, start a brand new colony, where everything will change. We’ll give ourselves new names. Identities erased. The sun will heat the grounds under our bare feet, in this brand new colony.

If I should die this very moment, I wouldn’t fear, for I’ve never known completeness like being here.
Wrapped in the warmth of you, loving every breath of you. Still, my heart, this moment, oh it might burst.
Could we stay right here, ’til the end of time, until the Earth stops turning?
Wanna love you ’til the seas run dry.

PEOPLE = SHIT.

Come on down, and see the idiot right here. Too fucked to beg, and not afraid to care. What’s the matter with calamity anyway? Right, get the fuck out of my face.
Understand that I can’t feel anything, it isn’t like I wanna sift through the decay. I feel like a wound, like I’ve got a fucking gun against my head. You live when I’m dead.
Everybody hates me now, so fuck it.
Blood’s on my face and my hands, and I don’t know why. I’m not afraid to cry, but that’s none of your business.
Who’s life is it?
Get it?
See it?
Feel it?
Eat it?
Spin it around so I can spit in its face. I wanna leave without a trace, because I don’t wanna die in this place.
It never stops. You can’t be everything to everyone. Contagion, I’m sitting at the side of Satan. What do you want from me? They never told me the failure I was meant to be.
Overdo it, don’t tell me you blew it. Stop your bitching and fight your way through it.
I’m not like you, I just fuck up.
Come on motherfucker, everybody has to die.

-

Ok, so I realise my last post was bitchy without meaning to, I needed to rant because it’s driving me crazy because I would LOVE to go to Bilborough, I’ve been looking forward to it for about 3 years.
“I don’t think I’ve passed, you know how unlucky I am. I’ll end up being the one who can’t go.”
“To be fair Trish, I think your luck can only go up from now.”
“I’ve thought that before, but bad luck always returns to me.”

Bronze Skin and Cinnamon Tans

Today me and Sav are going to the old town for a bit of shopping. It’s only about 30 today so it’s nice and cool. I’m quite bronze already, but a bitttt burnt from yesterday. The temp was over 40! In the evening I lost the will to move from the heat and just slept for a coupla hours, then me, Katerina and Savvas went for drinks ;D mmmmm Malibu.
My grandparents, uncle, auntie, cousins and nephew are coming to Rhodes next Saturday(in a week), I’m buzzing! We all just get smashed and to be honest all of us together is like a scene from Benidorm.
I really miss everybody at home. I miss Mitch. I’m always around people here, but I’m still feeling alone. I can’t wait to get back and see the person I love, and my friends and my family.
I’m really dreading the day I start sixth form, and the day people start at Bilborough. It’s the first day of my future life, and I’ll be hating it. Everyday I’ll be reminded that I could have done better. And now I know already that the next two years of my educated life are going to be miserable, and just shit, because sixth form is shit, everybody tells us not to go to sixth form and that it was the biggest mistake they’d ever made. Well, thanks. In the meantime, all you newly enrolled Bilborough kids who think you’re fucking tops bee’s knees well you can go on about it as much as you like, but the only people who care, are the other people going. The rest of us are either jealous or just too high to care.
ANYWAY as much as I miss everybody, I love it here so much…

Greece

I’m here! And in bed with killer tummy ache from this pizza me and Sav ate at my auntie’s house. Auntie just wouldn’t let us stop it awful :L so after that me ans Sav went for a walk and chilled. It’s so hot here tomorrow me and Savvas are unpacking my case at my auntie’s house, then going swimming in this pool bar and I’m gonna look bangin in my bikini tomorrow. NAHT. I’ll update in a coupla days folks. x

My Top Celebrity Crushes

1) Seren Gibson

2) Nigel Barker

3) Kelly Brook

4) Angelina Jolie

5) Enrique Iglesias

6) Brad Pitt

7) Molly Cavalli

8) Katy Perry

9) James Franco

10) Johnny Depp

11) Milo Ventimiglia

12) Olivia Wilde

13) Ricky Whittle

14) Gabriel Aubry

15) Chris Pine

16) Leonardo DiCaprio

17) Hayden Christensen

18) Penelope Cruz

19) Jake Gyllenhaal

20) Travis Fimmel

21) Zooey Deschanel

22) Doctor Christian Jessen

Rain

on the bar. Clinging water mars, any hints of what I had, because of what I became. Rain, you are me. Shake the memory free, can’t squelch the molten soul. Can’t chase away the hole.
I have buried you. Every place I’ve been, you keep ending up in my shaking hands. Rain, sound the alarm. The sting, my broken arm. The faintest violinist buried in my gut. There are chances and choices, but sometimes you just have to cut.
I have buried you, every place I’ve been. You keep ending up in my shaking hands.
I have buried you, every place I’ve been. You keep ending up every place I am.